I used to be so optimistic, so colorful. I would constantly hear that I look at the world differently than others and I felt that, I knew those words were true.
I wasn't able to be shaken easily. My heart didn't break into a million pieces when I was called a bad name or not accepted in something. I was stronger, I was courageous, I stood tall. I knew who I was and what I stood for.
I thought as you grew older you were suppose to find yourself, not lose yourself, but all I feel lately is that I've become this weak individual, one who is pessimistic about the outlook on her future career, one who is uncertain of so many things, one who is always worrying and asking "what if", one who is looking way to far into the future to appreciate the present, the greatness she has right under her nose.
I know that strong, colorful, optimistic girl is inside me. I feel her struggling to get out. I feel her wiping my tears away each time I cry over something. I feel her saying "it'll work out" to all my "what if" questions. I feel her telling me to stop worrying about my future, to let things unfold as they do, to be in the here, the now, because once it's gone, it's gone forever and I wont get it back. I feel her, I hear her...
and I'm ready for her to reemerge.
