Hello Celebritys

Warning: this post contains a lot of brokenness, and I understand that most of you visit my blog for the sunshine and rainbows, and I hate to inform you but I ran out of them during this post.

I'm swimming... but treading through the water is getting tough.

tougher than it should be.

I wake up each morning and I am beyond thankful for what I have. I'm truly blessed compared to some, and I KNOW that. I appreciate that... I appreciate all my loved ones in my life and I understand I would be nowhere without them...

but lately, I wake up and it takes everything in me to roll of out bed. I have to force myself to agree to an outing with my girls. I have to force the smile in the mirror.

Who is this girl? who is this negative person looking back at me in the mirror? I do not know her, and to be honest, I'm not to found of her.

Why do I fee like my life is spinning around me and I am not even moving, not even breathing?

Why do I feel like I wanna stop and sink to the bottom?

THIS IS NOT WHO I AM....

So to the girl who I know is still somewhere inside me,

"Do NOT let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It is yours." OTH

Find yourself again.... I'll be waiting.