Hello Celebritys

Disclaimer: Sorry this blog is so serious and personal. I have a lot weighing on my mind and needed to purge.

those words, do not exist in my vocabulary. At the young age of 14, walking in on my older sister cutting her wrist, I made two promises to myself. 1) I would never allow myself to think suicidal thoughts. 2) I will do everything in my power to help my sisters never hurt themselves.

Several years ago, my second oldest sister, decided to try to take her life and jump off a bridge. She lived, and every single day, I thank God for sparing her life. Her problems, however did not stop there. I hurts so bad, to pick up the phone, call my mother, ask how she is doing, and listen to the silence, because she doesn't want to break my heart with the answer. I would let her move in with me if it would help. I would give her money if she needed it. I would give up all my successes and happiness if I knew it would mean she would be better.

I hate hearing, "rasha, you can't help or change your sister. you can't change a person, if they don't want to change" - so what am I suppose to do? Am suppose to give up? let her continue to hurt herself, until she succeeds? No. I can not do that... I will NOT do that.

One day... my mother will call me with good news about my sister... and until then, I will not give up on her, I owe that to the 14 year old girl, I once was.

NOTE: I am not blogging this, to get sympathy... I am blogging this to remind myself of my promise and to blow off some steam.... Please don't feel sorry for me.... I just want you all to remember to never give up on anyone... no matter how hard it gets.